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Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category

20-12 wasn’t the year for my blog. Clearly, the year had huge time gaps where I posted nothing at all. But I’d like to think it was because I focused more on LIVING. I did miss the writing though. Capturing the moments through the year that inspired me, drove me, or were just plain cool.

 

So here’s my attempt to do 20-12 right and quickly share the top 12 moments for this year. 12 moments, for 12 months, for the year ’12. It’s never too late, so I’m taking charge and getting it done just under the wire 🙂

Cheers and Happy New Year! See you next year.

 

Annual College Girls Reunion in Memphis!

Annual College Girls Reunion in Memphis!

Hiking up the tallest dune in the Great Sand Dune National Park.

Hiking up the tallest dune in the Great Sand Dune National Park.

My friend Jen and I having brunch in the Space Needle with 360-degree views of Seattle! Unbelievable.

My friend Jen and I having brunch in the Space Needle with 360-degree views of Seattle! Unbelievable.

Best shrimp truck in all of Oahu... Giovanni's.

Best shrimp truck in all of Oahu… Giovanni’s.

Trying something for the first time - sea kayaking. Harder than I thought and a great team building exercise for a relationship :)

Trying something for the first time – sea kayaking. Harder than I thought and a great team building exercise for a relationship 🙂

Meeting Jaws at Universal Studios. Duh-Nuh...

Meeting Jaws at Universal Studios. Duh-Nuh…

Best theme park ever! It really is the most magical place on Earth. Disneyland!!!

Best theme park ever! It really is the most magical place on Earth. Disneyland!!!

Another first... letting the Sea World flamingos  nibble my hair! Apparently it's their way of helping me groom myself. They were gentle and quietly 'honked' while doing it. Classic.

Another first… letting the Sea World flamingos nibble my hair! Apparently it’s their way of helping me groom myself. They were gentle and quietly ‘honked’ while doing it. Classic.

My Laguna Beach sunset. Chased down and well worth it.

My Laguna Beach sunset. Chased down and well worth it.

Stomping grapes and touring Napa Valley wineries to ring in the big 3-0. Couldn't have asked for more for my special day celebrated with family!

Stomping grapes and touring Napa Valley wineries to ring in the big 3-0. Couldn’t have asked for more for my special day celebrated with family!

New York City at Christmas time was incredible. A 5-day work trip mixed with classic NYC moments...a great ending.

New York City at Christmas time was incredible. A 5-day work trip mixed with classic NYC moments…a great ending.

As fun as it is to look back, it's more exciting to look forward! From my family to yours, have a safe New Year.

As fun as it is to look back, it’s more exciting to look forward! From my family to yours, have a safe New Year.

 

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Friendship can be a tricky thing. It’s like any relationship really. Sometimes it’s a two-way relationship, other times it’s more complicated, and then even more unique, you find those who just “get” you while at the same time, find those who, while you put 100% into the friendship, they just take and rarely reciprocate.

The latter is the one that has me frustrated. I usually think I can pick out people with the kind of character I like to surround myself with. But I can honestly say I’ve been duped. One particular friend, I’ve known for almost five years. We traveled together, even internationally. I was the only one to visit her in a new city when she moved across the country. And I thought we both appreciated each other for our differences, similarities and dreams.

Well, 2011 was quite the telling year. It started slowly, but time did seem to reveal quite a lot. First, it was little things like her distancing herself from our group of friends, but not in the way you might think. She still came to various events and get togethers, but often would come late or not join us when talking together at a party. Through the course of our friendship, she also made certain comments to me that were odd, even cruel, and made me think she was jealous or had reason to not wish me the best in my various endeavors.

Then at my birthday, she acted so odd that it made me question what kind of friend she really was. She had forgotten to wish me a “happy birthday” entirely, and in this day and age with Facebook, birthday reminders and with friends who are important in your life, to not remember at all, when I go out of my way to try and help make her birthdays as special as possible, it was truly eye-opening. Then on the night of my birthday, she made the evening all about her! The following day, she proceeded to text me, asking me if I was mad at her. Keep in mind, she hadn’t even apologized for forgetting my birthday in the first place, then via text, told me how I made her feel left out… on my birthday?!?! Pretty sure that’s the one day I shouldn’t have to worry about anyone else and can just have fun.

After making me feel guilty, I actually apologized to her…for my birthday and not paying as much attention to her as she thought I should have. I was flabbergasted. We then didn’t talk, text, email, or see one another for almost six months. A long time for someone I considered a great, close friend.

But I was so amazed at how she had behaved, that I decided I wasn’t going to make the first move. Over the course of the last six months, I realized our friendship wasn’t two-sided, it was always me making the effort. So once I stopped, our friendship ceased to continue.

Until one day last week, she asked me to go to dinner. The dinner ultimately proved once more that it was all about her. She only asked me one question about my life the entire evening, after I asked her about everything and everyone in her life. Then as we walked back to our cars, she thanked me for meeting her for dinner “since we hadn’t seen or spoken to each other in a bit.” In a bit?!?! Almost six months, and she has yet to ask me about my life, my work, my family, and what’s been going on for the last six months. No apology for putting the guilt trip on me on my birthday. She was completely oblivious to her impact on me and our friendship.

It’s sad because what I thought was a great, close friendship – was in fact, a relationship where it was all about her. And after some hard realizations, it’s clear this isn’t the kind of friendship I’m looking for. I’ll be civil and maybe she can be an acquaintance, but I understand now the type of friendship that means the most to me, and it’s someone who cares about me just as much as I care about them. A true, balanced relationship.

A hard lesson in the meaning of friendship, but one that is necessary. Also, one that I felt compelled to share because I’ve been at a loss trying to make sense of it all.

Have you learned anything through your friendships…any lessons? Is it “normal” to have friendships fade over time? I know people change, but it’s been a hard reality to see a friendship disintegrate. But maybe that’s just what happens some times.

{Photo is my own – sun setting in Denver.}
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Hiking rocks. What do you think? Are you a fan of hiking?

In Colorado, there are hundreds of trails and being outside, exploring nature, is one of the best parts of living here.

Summer or winter.

Hiking with a friend one day in the summer reminded me of this joy, especially when we both got to experience it through the eyes of her 1 1/2 year old daughter. Precious.

And she wanted to hike the entire time!

Starting our adventure…

Our little hiker

The outdoors in all its glory

Heading home… happy trails to you!

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A month or so ago, my friend Katie wrote a beautiful ode to her girlfriends for the Korbel Mimosa Girls Getaway sweepstakes. The giveaway? A weekend in Napa Valley experiencing luxury and yummy champagne.

The awesome part was that Katie’s “toast” was selected as one of eight finalists for the getaway. Unfortunately, we weren’t selected for the grand prize, but reading Katie’s celebration of our friendship made it even better.

Here are her words:

Friendships come and go, but good friends, they’re always in your life.

Thank you Katie for your friendship and sharing such loving words.

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Who knew painting a blank canvas would be so fulfilling. I learned my inner creativity was begging to get out when some girlfriends and I went to Canvas & Cocktails.

It was a fantastic experience and we’re planning to do it again soon.

Have you ever done something to bring out a different side, whether you meant it to or the experience brought a side to you out then you didn’t expect? Do share. Cheers.


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How many times in 20-10 did you think to yourself, “wow, this year is flying by!”? I think I said it a thousand times and meant it. The year literally went by in a blink of an eye. First, it was spring skiing season, then Labor Day weekend, then post-Halloween sugar coma, and now it’s 20-11. Yikes!

I can’t begin the New Year until I look back on this whirlwind that was 2010. So what was my year like, well if you know anything about me, whether personally or from reading this blog, you know I love pictures. So I’ll do what I do best… (just the big things though)

First trip to San Antonio – seeing the River Walk and The Alamo

A winter full of skiing the Rocky Mountains

Running my first half-marathon – ran the entire time, didn’t stop even when I desperately wanted to, one of those moments so far that I’ve been so proud of myself

Visiting Hollywood with my family – including a stop at Madame Tussaud’s wax museum where I could just help out a friend in need 🙂

Visiting D.C. for work

Colorado wine tour – sampling the local vineyards on the Front Range

Hiking and camping in the summer

Family reunion in Pittsburgh – the Iron City – and visiting places from my childhood summers

My sorority, Alpha Phi, celebrates its Centennial

Halloween and the Rally to Restore Sanity/Fear in D.C.

A beautiful December wedding with a wonderful girlfriend in St. Louis

And the best Christmas with my family we’ve ever had – an amazing way to celebrate the end of 2010

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I joined a book club in March, it’s been fun meeting new people and having a group to discuss a new book with each month. Our first book was The Help by Kathryn Stockett. It was a fascinating book telling the story of how race and gender defined women in our country during the civil rights movement in 1962, and especially how three characters, Aibileen, Minny and Skeeter, each facing their own challenges, brought them together in the end.

I’m not going to give it away, but it’s atop my favorite list.

It’s such a small world, at the same time I was reading The Help, my Grandma was reading it too. Only her experience reading it was a bit different because she grew up during that same time. Although she didn’t grow up in Mississippi, she said she remembers the civil rights movement too in Pennsylvania.

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